everyone is single if you try hard enough
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
