You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My balls are so social today.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
