Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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