I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
