You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
