You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
