do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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