We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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