Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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