I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
