Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize