alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
