this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
