Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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