You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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