Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
