"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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