She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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