I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
