My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
