I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
