Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
