There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
