you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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