I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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