I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
