I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
