I must be too annoying 4 u.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I skipped work to stalk him.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
