Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
