thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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