you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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