I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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