I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
