a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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