I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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