The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
it's like iHOP with fire
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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