it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
