do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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