Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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