I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
50% drunk capacity currently
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
