need another drink. this is the easiest way
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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