like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
only you would photoshop your dick
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
