i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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