He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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