let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
