i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
