I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
