Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
