like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
