I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
