I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
