i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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