She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
