so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
