Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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