It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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