Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
