Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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