she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
