i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
