I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
