why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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