Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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