Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I currently don't understand fingers.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
