Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Blood and glitter go together right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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