I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
